Skeptickle

“What’s in a name?

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

-Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

At least the trouble with our last names isn't like the one between the Montagues and Capulets. Cuz we all know how THAT story ends.

It didn’t even occur to me that it would be this hard to adopt a long, strange-sounding, Caucasian last name. I don’t know why. Maybe because everyone used to butcher my three-letter Chinese last name so much that I didn’t think it could be worse.

So here’s the background. When Rob and I were first thinking about marriage, the topic of name-changing came up. He felt strongly that whoever marries him would adopt his last name. I was actually surprised about his feelings because he’s normally a very progressive guy. I would even say that he qualifies as a feminist (someone who believes both sexes should be treated equally and/or have equal opportunities) if it wasn’t such a bad word in certain circles. However, since I wasn’t such a fan of his last name, I delayed any serious thinking of it until we were well into our engagement. It was one of those things that I had secretly hoped he would give up after more time had passed.

About two months before our wedding, it was really time to make a decision because we needed to fill out our marriage license forms. I weighed the pros and cons of our situation. If I adopted his last name then there would be a lot less confusion when we have kids. As someone who was from a family with two different last names, I can attest to how much more convenient it is to all have the same last name. My mother and my brother shared the same last name because she wanted to pass down her family name (she has no brothers), while my father and I shared his last name. Additionally, Rob rarely feels so strongly about things like this, while I feel strongly about most things and he gives in to a lot of them.

At the same time, the feminist voice in my head was berating me for even considering this. Why would I give in to the oppressive pressure of our paternalistic society? Why should I conform to antiquated ideals and cater to the convenience of the bureaucrats? And most importantly, why do I have to deal with having boobs and Rob doesn’t?

I’ll probably never know.

In the end, I did what I did best, which is to negotiate a compromise to make both sides happy. If I changed my last name to his, then he has to change his middle name to my late mother’s. She was the ultimate feminist and managed to not only keep her last name, but also to have her only son be born with it so that he can pass it down the generations. This is almost unheard of in Chinese society.

So that was almost a year ago and now I have had to adjust to the consequences of that decision. I get puzzled looks every time I introduce myself, either because it sounds funny to people who’ve never heard of it before or because my last name doesn’t match my race. It’s always a topic of conversation when I first meet people and I get comments on it more often than not. At the check-out counter, I’m asked for a picture id when I use a credit card even though the lady in front of me wasn’t asked that when she used hers. Little things like that. Though, Rob has gotten crap for changing his beloved middle name too so I’m not totally alone on this.

I received another letter today from Kitchenaid to extend the warranty of my $65 hand-mixer another year for $54. Thank you Kitchenaid, this is your second attempt at assuming that I have a low enough IQ and high enough money to buy into your joke of an extended warranty. And to add insult to injury, they addressed me as Mrs Sophia Qurtlebaum. *Sigh*

I realized that I don’t tend to write a whole lot of personal stuff on this blog, mostly to protect myself against people who don’t/won’t understand or are just plain mean. Fortunately, I recently turned 26 and have developed a thicker skin over the past year so I care less about the approval of others.

I loved this idea from Holly Becker of decor8 because it’s so me. I’m usually neither a glass half-empty nor a glass half-full person because I can see things from both perspectives. I always start out with analyzing one side and then I take a look from the other side too.

Hmm, why are we talking about glasses when we can eat ice cream instead? Num num num...

Half Empty: Our little apartment is a mess and is cluttered due to our rapid accumulation of material possessions in the past year from wedding gifts, Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, etc. Both Rob and I have been very busy this past week so most chores have been neglected. I’d be ashamed to invite anyone over.

Half Full: I can still invite my brother over because he loves me unconditionally, sort of. We’re moving into a place that will accommodate these gifted possessions, or as I’d like to call them “artifacts of love”. I’m also being productive by doing the laundry I’ve put off doing for the past few days. Yay me!

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Continue reading One of those days…

This week has been especially wet and cold here in the Bay Area. We had pretty much everything: thunderstorms, hail, and the occasional tornado warning. Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in California any more. So it would make sense to make a hearty soup for the occasion. But since many of us are trying to eat healthier for the new year, I had to adjust the traditional Potato Leek Soup recipe to accommodate these needs. This turned out to be really tasty without the use of heavy cream, and leftovers for the next day was even better!

Photo from: http://www.thekitchn.com

Skinny Potato Leek Soup Recipe

1 Tablespoon EVOO

1 Tablespoon butter or butter substitute

8 slices turkey bacon

1 quart low-sodium chicken broth and/or beef broth

1 cup nonfat milk

1.5 lbs Golden Yukon potatoes, cleaned (and skinned if you prefer)

1 Tablespoon flour

3 leeks washed and sliced into 1/4 inch slices.

1 small onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic minced

5 stems fresh thyme, tied together with butchers twine

1 bay leaf

1 Tablespoon sea salt

1 teaspoon cracked black pepper

Chopped chives, crumbled bacon, or thyme sprig for garnish.

Directions:

Place the potatoes into a large soup pot and pour in the chicken and/or beef stock. Cover and heat on medium high heat until boiling. Turn down the heat to medium low heat and simmer until the potatoes are soft when poked with a fork.

In a large fry pan heat the EVOO and butter and fry the turkey bacon until crisp on both sides. Remove bacon from pan and set aside. Using same pan, saute the leeks, onion, and garlic in the drippings until translucent. Slowly mix in the flour, salt and pepper to make a roux. Turn off heat.

Transfer this mixture into the large pot with potatoes and break up the crisped bacon into it. Using a potato masher, mash the softened potatoes until it’s your desired consistency. You can also use an immersion blender for smoother soup. Add the bundle of thyme, bay leaf, and milk into the mix and simmer on medium low heat for about 30 minutes. Add more stock or water if the soup gets too thick for your liking. Take out the thyme bundle and bay leaf right before serving. Garnish with chives. Serves about 4 people as entrees and 6 as starters. Enjoy!

…, if all goes well *knocks on wood*, we will be moving into our new home! I really can’t wait because we have seriously outgrown this one bedroom apartment that we currently live in. Seriously. Every room has gotten to the point of becoming multi-functional. For example, our dining nook is also our library and office storage area. Our living room is also our office, Rob’s electronics work area, my crafting area, exercise area, and guestroom all rolled into one. Our deck is also our storage space. You get the picture.

Our new place is an actual house! Not another apartment, or townhouse, or a duplex, or a rented room within someone else’s house. A whole house! With a yard! For someone who has officially moved 21 times her whole life, lived in 25 different places (including a Motel 6 at one point), and always dreamt of having a house, this is a huge deal. As much as I love to travel and satisfy my wanderlust, I equally crave an anchor, a place where I could call home and mean it in every possible way.

Before last month, the concept of buying a house within the next three years never even entered our plans. I mean this is California people. The average house in our area is around $500k with a $100k downpayment. We were simply not there financially, even though the interest rates were low, and the tax incentives were there, and both sides of our family and even some of our friends were urging us to buy. I thought there was no way it could happen. And then it happened (and happened fast!), mostly thanks to a generous gift from my goddess of a mother in law paired with our rather meager savings. Words cannot describe how grateful I am, how much I love my MIL, and (it’s true) for how much shame I feel for accepting the gift.

The whole house-buying process is extremely complicated and I still don’t know everything I probably should know about it. However, I think we did pretty well with what little knowledge we did know and acquired along the way. Our house is no mansion, but it will serve us perfectly as a first house, especially since we don’t plan to have kids anytime soon. It’s in a good location, in a friendly neighborhood, and is in immaculate condition because the owner is a clean-freak.

The only big problem that I can see is that it only has one bathroom . Also the power lines pole is right in our backyard so we’d be dealing with PG&E coming through occasionally. Speaking of which, as I was writing that last sentence I saw on the news of a power line falling down in Oakland and setting two cars on fire. That seems like a bad omen if I ever saw one!

Anyways, I really can’t wait to have all our stuff in separate rooms and to finally have a garden I can work on . Though, I’m going to really miss my current city and the immediate area that I’m living in now. I love the walking trail in the back and the fact that most things are within walking distance or a short drive away. I’ve also invested a lot of time, effort, and even $ into the local community, government, and businesses, so I’m hoping that we can eventually move back here when we’re looking for our next home. But for now, Rob and Sophia are off on another adventure: homeownership!

Here’s a picture of our cute and cozy cottage: