I loved this idea from Holly Becker of decor8 because it’s so me. I’m usually neither a glass half-empty nor a glass half-full person because I can see things from both perspectives. I always start out with analyzing one side and then I take a look from the other side too.

Hmm, why are we talking about glasses when we can eat ice cream instead? Num num num...

Half Empty: Our little apartment is a mess and is cluttered due to our rapid accumulation of material possessions in the past year from wedding gifts, Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, etc. Both Rob and I have been very busy this past week so most chores have been neglected. I’d be ashamed to invite anyone over.

Half Full: I can still invite my brother over because he loves me unconditionally, sort of. We’re moving into a place that will accommodate these gifted possessions, or as I’d like to call them “artifacts of love”. I’m also being productive by doing the laundry I’ve put off doing for the past few days. Yay me!

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Half Empty: Our realtor and mortgage broker seem annoyed at us (mostly me) for wanting them to fulfill verbal promises they gave at our first meeting. Also they don’t appreciate me asking too many questions or thinking for myself in this process of buying a home. Rob trusts them and isn’t worried, but (being how I am) I’m more cautious because I know that there’s a fundamental conflict of interest here. I also didn’t appreciate when we were looking at houses that whenever I point out anything negative about them (termites, leaky roofs, ungrounded wires, etc), the realtor would jump in and negate my concerns. Very frustrating.

Half Full: I’m thankful for them anyways. If it wasn’t for our realtor, we most likely wouldn’t have found this house. If it wasn’t for our mortgage broker, we probably wouldn’t have gotten a loan that meets our needs. And best of all, we will be moving into our first house! In a few weeks time this will be all over and I can relax and nest my heart out. I can then plant a garden and fruit trees and have space to make things and fix things. We will be homeowners, which will be fulfilling one of my lifelong dreams.

Half Empty: I haven’t gotten to spend quality time with Rob this week. He’s so busy churning out something for work (and will continue to for next week) and I’m so busy going to various events that we only see each other right before bedtime.

Half Full: We have a dinner date tonight (but then he has to work again afterwards, so bittersweet).

Half Empty: The aunt of the child I’m advocating for is not flexible with scheduling. It makes me feel under-appreciated for volunteering for this. I’m setting aside 9-5 for my internship, it will take me 15-30 minutes depending on traffic to pick her up, and the kid’s bedtime is at 7pm (!!). I was told by the SW that weekends are off-limits. So I only get a little over an hour to spend quality time with the kid during one weekday because the aunt doesn’t want me seeing her twice a week either. Btw, I’m supposed to be volunteering 3 hours a week every week. And there goes my fantasies about taking her to concerts, movies, sporting events, and pretty much anything that takes over an hour to do.

Half Full: I’m grateful to even be in the position to volunteer. Someone Up There has allowed my life to come full circle in order to help a foster child when I once was one myself. I’m glad that no matter how little time I spend with her, it will still be worth it. She is a very sweet kid and reminds me of myself at that age with her black Converse Chuck Taylors and the love of dancing, sports, and creating art. I’m looking forward to being her friend and mentor.

Wow, that whole process of writing things down and ending with happy thoughts has really helped me feel better. I’ll probably continue this exercise during times where I’m feeling down or frustrated about stuff.

How is the glass half-empty and half-full in your life?

Update 1/5: We cleaned the house before the preliminary inspection and the inspection results were favorable. Our mortgage broker and realtor has been extremely helpful and accommodating this week so I’m feeling better about our relationship with them now. I feel bad for the aunt of the child I’m advocating for. She has a lot on her plate with taking care of three kids all of a sudden when she doesn’t have any of her own to teach her how. I hope I can help make some things easier for her. Rob’s still busy but a little less so. I’m looking forward to giving him his Valentine’s gift .

Okay, first, some background. All the way up until today I had not brought myself to change to my new name on my drivers license. There are a variety of reasons why. Some are practical reasons. For example, I had changed my middle name to something other than my father’s last name or a variation of my previous name so I had to get a court order for that. That took several months to go through. I also had our Taiwan trip coming up and I didn’t want any legal complications arising out of nowhere. So I decided to play it safe and go to the DMV after the trip.

There I am earlier today all ready with a folder full of documents (marriage license, court order, DMV form (that I got on a previously aborted trip there), checkbook, passport, etc.) and a LARGE book – Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina (I didn’t have an appointment). I drove to the DMV expecting it to be packed since it was lunchtime. However, there was plenty of parking and the non-appointment line was only two people deep. The lady behind the desk met me with a blank stare when I got to the front of the line. I can’t really tell you why that made me uncomfortable, other than usually people acknowledge you in some way.

Me: *Holding up my DMV name change form* Hi, I’m here to get my name changed.

Her: Why?

Me: …*confused look on my face*

Her: Why did you get your name changed?

Me: *pause* Oh um, because I got married…

Her: *as if talking to a slow kid* We ask because you have to have the right form.

Me: *waving my form in front of her again* Yeah, I have it. I know it’s the right one because I got it from a previous trip here.

Her: You see, I didn’t know that…

Me: Yup…*looking around*

Her: Well, here’s your number.

Me: *with as much cheerfulness that I can muster up* Thank you very much! *scurries away*

Thankfully the wait wasn’t long at all and I was set and out the door within twenty minutes. Feeling high-spirited, I decided to call my friend to see if she’s up for me paying her a visit since she lives in the area. She was occupied for the afternoon but we chatted a bit as I walked across the parking lot and got into my car. I sat and rummaged around my purse for my hands-free earphones so that I could talk to her while driving. Unfortunately I left them at home, so I decided to sit in my car for a little while and talk to her since I haven’t talked to her in months. A few seconds passed before I started hearing honking noises behind me. I tried to ignore them because I thought they were aimed at someone else.

A minute later, a middle-aged guy knocked at my driver’s side window very loudly and asked me if I was leaving. I shook my head “no”.  He then preceded to yell at me! Going on about how selfish I am! I cannot express just how much I found his behavior shockingly rude and extremely irrational. After all, there were many other people in the process of leaving and all he had to do was circle around a little longer to find a spot. Furthermore, you are not necessarily entitled to a spot just because you are behind someone who happens to be in their car. I always wait a little bit and if they don’t seem to be leaving then I MOVE ON. There may be a plethora of reasons why they would be in their car but not leaving, but the point is, it’s still their spot. But no, apparently my parking spot was special. It was the HOLY GRAIL of parking spots. In fact, my parking spot is The Parking Spot, didn’t you know? And wouldn’t it be utterly glorifying to earn The Parking Spot by acting like an infant throwing a tantrum?

So this is what he did. He climbed back into his car and drove forward a little bit so that he was completely blocking my tail-end. Then he continued to honk at me in ten-second intervals. Mind you, this was a grown man.

Of course by this time I had long gotten off the phone with my friend and was assessing the situation in my head. This guy was not only an irrational and angry person, but he was obviously a sadist. His blocking my car from getting out and honking at me was a form of punishment for not having his way sooner. Ignoring him hadn’t helped. He was just going to continue playing his little game. I’m just really surprised that he decided to commit road rage at the DMV of all places! I’m sure that if the entire parking lot emptied of cars, he’d still be after my spot just to prove to himself that he can get it.

So I did what you’re supposed to do when you’re facing a bully, I drew attention to the situation and tried to show him that I’m not someone you could just push around. I opened my window and started yelling at him at the top of my lungs. I was yelling about what he was doing to anyone who could hear me. I revved up my engine and backed up an inch at a time. I think he was actually afraid that I would back into him because he kept honking each time I backed up. After about a minute of this (and people were starting to stare), he finally backed up all the way to let me through. The jerk still took my spot.

Looking back, I’m pretty sure that he would not have acted the way he did if I were a guy or had I been with someone else. I probably looked like an easy target to him and he was in a bad mood already and took it out on me. In the process, this event ruined my day. I absolutely hate being the target of aggression and having to raise my voice in order to defend myself. But such is life, and sometimes you gotta stand up for yourself when you must. Anyways, I hope y’all are having a better day than I am!