What Love Looks Like

One Year Ago Today,

I married the love of my life.

A recap of our first dance:

Brighter Than Sunshine ~ by Aqualung*

I never understood before

I never knew what love was for

My heart was broke, my head was sore

What a feeling


Tied up in ancient history

I didnt believe in destiny

I look up you’re standing next to me

What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul

Love burns brighter than sunshine

Brighter than sunshine

Let the rain fall, i don’t care

I’m yours and suddenly you’re mine

Suddenly you’re mine

And it’s brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening

I’d given up and given in

I just couldn’t take the hurt again

What a feeling


I didn’t have the strength to fight

Suddenly you seemed so right

Me and you

What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul

Love burns brighter than sunshine

It’s brighter than sunshine

Let the rain fall, I don’t care

I’m yours and suddenly you’re mine

Suddenly you’re mine

It’s brighter than the sun

It’s brighter than the sun

It’s brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery

But give me your hand and you will see

Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul

Love burns brighter than sunshine

It’s brighter than sunshine

Let the rain fall, I don’t care

I’m yours and suddenly you’re mine

Suddenly you’re mine


Happy Anniversary, My Sunshine. Here’s to many many more!

Love,

Sophia

*Here’s the music video to the song:

**All photos by our friend and photographer Junshien Lau.

Our Vows, Ring Exchange, and Sealing the Deal

Rob did an awesome job on his vows. His were simple and to the point.

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I think I went overboard on mine. It turned out to be a lengthy essay. At least people were entertained by the parts that were funny.

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Ring exchange

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Pronouncement and kiss

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Married!

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The Wine and Chocolate Ceremony

As mentioned here, I borrowed the lovely Mrs. Lovebug’s words for this part of the ceremony. This is such a great ritual for those of us with secular ceremonies!

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Wine and Chocolate Ritual

There will come in your life days of great sweetness, and days of bitter sorrow. There will be celebrations, and there will be tears. There will be triumphs, and there will be tragedies. Life holds indescribable happiness in store for you both – and unavoidable pain, as well. And so to symbolize your acceptance of this reality, today you will share the bitter and the sweet, just as you will share them in the years to come.


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Both of you, take and eat this bitter, dark chocolate. Taste in it the dark days which will rock your marriage and test its strength. It represents disappointment, illness, grief. Know that these hard times will come, and with them, the opportunity to deepen your bond as husband and wife.

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Now, take and drink this sweet red wine.

Taste in it the sweetness and light that will fill your marriage with joy. Savor the fruits of this wine, just as you will savor every happiness that your beloved brings you. It represents shared laughter, your child’s first steps, your golden anniversary. Delight in it, as you will delight in your husband, your wife.

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Chocolate used: Green & Black’s Dark 70% Chocolate

Wine used: Dutcher’s Crossing 2004 Port

What  could probably be seen on the blooper reel (if there was one): We didn’t really rehearse this part of the ceremony with actual props so there was some confusion during the execution of the wine “taking” part. My logic was this: on the word “take” (ex: take this bitter chocolate, take this sweet wine) we actually take the thing we’re supposed to consume and then consume it as the officiant speaks about the meaning behind it. This went flawlessly when we took the chocolate. However, when it was time to take the wine, as I reached for the glass, Rob reached his hand out to stop me. Puzzled, I retracted my hand. Then as the officiant started to go into the significance behind the wine, I attempted to give it another go. He did the same thing again! It was pretty awkward to say the least. Finally, when our officiant was done speaking did Rob reach for the glass, drink from it, and then hand it to me. That wine was so delicious that I instantly forgot about the embarrassment I was feeling :) . But I would definitely recommend rehearsing everything thoroughly if you are doing something for the first time!

The Readings

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Fast-Forward Through the Order of the Ceremony:

Welcome

Gathering Words

Marriage Address

Acknowledgements

Rememberance of Loved Ones

Declaration of Intent

Group Declaration of Support

Readings

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Rob's sister doing the first reading.

“Union” by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.

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My friend doing the second reading.

Excerpt from “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room.

“Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?” “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

“I suppose you are real?” said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled. “The Boy’s Uncle made me Real,” he said. “That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

The Prelude and Processional


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