Skeptickle

I was originally going to launch right into our ceremony, but I almost forgot about our programs! These were one of my favorite projects for our wedding. Mostly because they weren’t necessary so if I screwed up then they didn’t need to get distributed. I wanted to do something simple but elegant, and a little different from the usual booklets with staples. I loved the Stardream Opal cover paper at Paper Source so I decided to use that for our programs (sorry, they don’t photograph very well).

I basically designed the pages of the program on two 8.5″ by 11″ canvases in Illustrator (one for each printing side). I placed a light grey vertical line down the middle of each canvas to separate the pages. After printing them out on a laserjet printer (a must for Stardream papers), I’d use a bone folder to make a neat crease along the grey vertical line. I’d then fold it down that crease, wrap a ribbon around the fold and tie it at the top. I think they turned out pretty well.

The front of the program.

A close-up of the quote from Morrie and a Thank You to our guests.

A peek at the inside of the program.

The back of the program.

I think that there is a lot of unnecessary concern out there about the supposed issue of brides planning their ceremony after they have planned everything else for their weddings. I assume that this perspective focuses on the possibility that the ceremony is so insignificant in the bride’s mind that it’s treated as an afterthought. I would submit that that might be true for some cases but may not be for the majority of brides out there.

Picking out linens, making my own flowers, deciding on the music- all these things were easy compared to drafting our hopes and deepest feelings in our relationship into words. I was guilty of starting late in planning our ceremony because it was the most important part of our wedding, not despite it. It was a monumental task, especially for those of us that are agnostic/atheistic.  I realized that there are very few mainstream resources that would teach me how to plan a ceremony based on the Humanistic view of the world.

I then remembered that Ellie (former Mrs. Lovebug) was also areligious and had a great ceremony that she had written entirely by herself. I read through her ceremony again to try to find inspiration, and instead, felt completely deflated. Everything she wrote was so perfect and exactly what I’d imagined for our ceremony! I couldn’t have thought of any other way to put it the way she did. I mean, she’s a professional writer and all but geez! So I did what any desperate and verbally uncreative bride would do, I contacted Ellie and asked if I could borrow some of the words she used in her ceremony, specifically the ones for the wine and chocolate ceremony.  She was more than gracious to oblige and didn’t even require me to acknowledge her work. I still want to, so here it is: Ellie, if you’re reading this, thank you so much for contributing to our ceremony. It was beautiful and it wouldn’t have been as good without it. We really appreciate it!

So there we were with a basic skeleton of a ceremony with some meaningful words filling in a couple parts of it. The other parts (which was the vast majority of our ceremony) needed some work and we were searching for an officiant to help us do that. We found an atheist minister (yes those exist, at least in our area they do!) as a possible candidate and we hoped he would give us a little guidance. Our meeting was less productive than I had hoped it would be, mostly because he talked a lot about atheism and very little about how we can approach our ceremony. I started having visions of him preaching atheism to our guests and decided it wasn’t a good fit. I tend to shy away from those types of atheists who are so anti-religous that they can almost make a religion out of it.

In the end, we were able to get Rob’s cousin to be our officiant (he was originally our first choice). It would’ve happened sooner if we had fully understood the bureaucratic requirements for deputizing a friend/family member to officiate at weddings. He’s one of the few that respect other peoples’ beliefs and life stances even though he was training to be a Baptist minister. We even agreed on the topic of marriage as a universal human right and the wrongness of Prop 8. I was happy to delegate our ceremony to someone that understood us as a couple and respected our core beliefs. Plus it gave me more time  to focus on my vows . Looking back, I think he did a great job on our ceremony. His caring for us showed through and he included personal touches that was so sweet and heartfelt.

Next up:

After our couple shots, we gathered together our wedding party for some group love in what I believe to be some sort of orchard area. I didn’t realize until we got these back from our photographer just how patriotic we looked as a whole.

This one’s my favorite shot:

Brief Wedding Party introductions (L to R):

Both Best Man W and Groomsman M: Both went to college with Rob and now all live in the same area.

Maid of Honor C: Was my neighbor during jr high and high school, and we both went to the same high school.

Bridesman D: Was my co-worker, my discussion buddy, and fellow foodie/oenophile.

I’m sure you’d agree that we picked some pretty hawt people here . The following is what came out when we were going for a “serious shot”. This is what I can only describe as our Law and Order Moment…

See and compare:

Photo from blog.newsok.com.

That’s right. Don’t mess with us or I’ll bust a cap with my bouquet! It’s dangerous you know ;P.

Anyways, onward to the rather large and spectacular treehouse:

Unfortunately, I couldn’t go up it without the risk of tearing up or soiling my dress but I’m glad that our wedding party was able to find amusement up there . While all this was going on, our wonderful venders were setting things up in the background. I was completely relaxed during this time thanks to them. Okay, enough gushing..up next (and finally!) the ceremony.

After we were done meeting up, it was time for our couple photos to really begin. I had a list of must-take locations and luckily our photographer respected my wishes. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, our photographer was (and still is) A-MAZ-ING.

Inside the London taxi:

The storybook cottage:

One of my favorite shots:

A great shot of the top of my bouquet:

My red shoes peeking out:

Another favorite of mine:

This whole wedding thing sure did break down a lot of my old preconceived notions of how weddings are “supposed” to be. You know those sayings out there that the bride should wear white (I wore ivory), wear shoes that match the dress color (didn’t happen), and the biggie- the groom should not see the bride in her wedding dress until the ceremony. We decided to see each other before the ceremony for practical reasons. We have an hour to kill before the ceremony, what else are we going to do? Also, I was beginning to get tired of all the superstitious bull-hocky surrounding weddings. Do you know why this “rule” was made up in the first place? It was traditionally a preventative measure for those in arranged marriages. It prevented the groom from seeing his bride before they were official and run out because he didn’t like what he saw. Rob and I had been with each other for over three years at this point and he has seen it all: the bad, the worse, and the ugly. So something tells me he wasn’t going to run out on me just because he sees me in my wedding dress.

Our photographer was to pick the location at Nestldown for our first meeting and subsequent bride and groom photo session that day. The bottom deck behind the bridal changing room was to be our meeting place. We waited awhile for the signal from Brooke that the Rob has arrived. Rob was running late for a variety of reasons (which will be explained in a future post). Once he arrived outside the bridal changing area, Junshien took over and directed him to the bottom deck where he was to face away from where I would enter.

Looking down at him from the top deck. Also, a nice shot of my veil.

Carefully making my way down to him.

Butterflies the size of Mothra were in my stomach!

As you can see, all that pent up nervous excitement bursted forth in the form of giggles.

Annnd he turns around...

He likes!

He loves!

We don’t regret seeing each other before the ceremony one bit. It helped dissipate the pre-wedding nervousness and it’s really nice to have an intimate moment or two before you’re swept up into the social aspects of the day.